A journey of self discovery is an internal battle

The abundant possibilities that can come about when people are brought together has always driven me to seek challenges. Teamwork becomes powerful when we can see the possible contributions others can make, even if they don\’t see it. A great cause may ultimately lead to amazing impact. However, can you imagine the impact on the lives of those who join a mission?

Today, I am finally processing my own emotions. I had a good night\’s sleep after returning from climbing Ben Nevis in Scotland. When I looked at the biscuits and parata my daughter (Mehek) and her friend Sumaya had made as a surprise I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion. I feel blessed to have amazing people touch my life and wonder how I can show my heartfelt gratitude?

People may join a mission because they either feel compelled by the cause or the challenge and sometimes both. Everyone\’s reasons will be different, but whatever the reason, success can only be measured by an individual\’s personal journey. Reflection is an important part of this as it integral to increasing our self awareness. Being able to travel with diverse personalities is no different to the unpredictable weather we can come across on a mountain.

I never really knew what to expect when I contemplated climbing Ben Nevis one day. When I climbed Snowdon in 2018 and felt on top of the world, I thought \’I could do anything\’. The Mountain wasn\’t my only personal challenge, because I also wanted to fundraise to help transform the lives of 3 women living in poverty stricken conditions in Bangladesh by giving them the gift of a \’Home\’. Most of the incredible achievements in my life have been because of my faith & trust in others and a strong conviction in my vision. I threw my mission to the wind and it landed on Guler Cortis and Kate Isichei who were the first to get excited and it became `our mission\’. We planned and organised as a Team of 3 until the unexpected happened and Kate could no longer join us on the day. Both Guler and I felt a huge void, but had to continue the mission as planned.

So a group of us travelled in a hire vehicle from London to Scotland, with 3 drivers taking turns. When darkness crept in during our long journey between the mountains leading to our hotel, it felt like a never ending journey. I had assessed driving at night through the mountains as a potential risk. Although we wanted to get to our hotel before darkness, it became impossible. In that situation it became necessary for us to put trust in Nana to get us safely to our destination. I won\’t lie – I did have a few heart palpitations because the bends were so sharp. In that situation, I removed myself to the back of the vehicle and closed my eyes so that my anxiety could not become a barrier for Nana, who used laser focus to get us safely to the hotel.

I woke up on the day of our climb, Saturday 3rd September, with a headache after a night of broken sleep. I wondered if the headache was a warning sign of lack of sleep (I have low blood pressure which can make me light headed and cause me to faint), my fear of heights or dehydration. The night before our Hotel Manager had told us to be careful climbing as the weather forecast has predicted winds at 60-70 miles an hour. As an externally focused person who naturally focuses on others, worry started creeping in as I wondered how I could ensure everyone gets to the top of the mountain. In the past 4 months I had overcome so many barriers:

1. I had surgery in May to have my right toenail removed and that healed in 4-6 weeks, although the new toenail hasn\’t yet fully grown.
2. 4 weeks ago I was robbed outside of my workplace at 3pm and fell on my left knee during the struggle, which caused a small injury to my knee preventing me from walking too strenuously for a few days.
3. A couple of days before the climb I started feeling clicking in my right knee the same way I did after I completed the 5k Rough Runner in 2019 (my GP said it was a result of wear and tear).

What if I can\’t complete the mission? I don\’t want anyone else to be held back. Just then I saw one of our team members who had initially cancelled his attendance turn up with his 2 friends and I felt a huge wave of relief. I felt comfort knowing that they would watch other members of the team when I couldn\’t. I have been on a mission with them before where I got to know them – on the Snowdon climb.

Just as we were getting ready to ascend the mountain, I was overcome with emotion and had to hide myself in the ladies toilet at the Visitors Centre and shed a few tears. I had to release that emotion there and then so that it wouldn\’t weigh me down. I guess I couldn\’t help remembering the reference I made to Ernest Shackleton ( The story of Ernest Shackleton ) on our journey to Scotland. Although I might not physically be fit, I was determined that my mind could endure all the elements. I made sure I had water and protein bars filled with sugar with me. We started the climb full of excitement and energy, but I couldn\’t shake off the headache.

As we continued to climb and the path got more and more difficult, I found myself unable to look down without feeling dizzy and light headed. I put it down to my fear of heights and lack of sleep. I took layers of clothes off, but within 2 hours I felt so dizzy that I had to constantly stop and rest on a stone. Ruby who was medically trained gave me a glucose tablet and I started sucking it until I felt everything going black and had to lie down completely. I did wonder if altitude was causing it? I was feeling so sleepy and light headed. Unfortunately, one of my 2 worst nightmares had come true and I was now in a position that could hold others back. That would lead to the second nightmare of us being stuck on the mountain in the dark.

Ruby and I took small steps whilst everyone else moved forward. The headache and dizziness continued until we were one third of the way up. Ruby really looked after me, encouraging me to eat peanuts as she said salt might help me. Our role reversal was more profound than anybody can imagine. 20 years ago my role was to look after Ruby and now she was given a chance to look after me. Her nurturing nature can be her worst enemy, but in this case the universe had clearly put us in a similar situation for a reason. Even when we think we know, we have no idea of the forces in play, looking after us when we least expect. I am a firm believer that Allah blesses those with good intentions.

Maruf came back down to give me my rack sack and I felt so guilty about holding them back, especially as Ruby wanted to be with her daughter who had ploughed ahead. At the half way (waterfall) point, Aliya came back with Guler (my other hero) who then stayed with me whilst Maruf, Aliya and Ruby went ahead till they got to almost 80% of the way and decided to come back down.

Guler and I decided to go back down as neither one of us wanted to put our health at risk and we were contend with making it half way. Perhaps if I train seriously and start the climb at 6am next time I might reach the Summit?

Fortunately, the group had split into 4 smaller groups;

Group 1. with Nana, Veronica, Zagham and Husnain who became the pioneers to get to the top first,

Group 2. followed by Khayyam, Omar, Kesra and Zeenat,

Group 3. Maruf, Aliya and Ruby

Group 4. Guler and I

Walking back down was tough for us; Guler had to be careful not to put too much pressure on her hip and I had to dress my new half grown toenail in foam to reduce the risk of injury. As both Guler and I love talking to strangers, as much as our feet and knees felt painful, our journey travelling down became enjoyable. The kindness of strangers as they helped us at difficult points of our journey just filled our usual optimistic outlook with so much positive energy.

Everybody plays a role – we have to care enough to see the diverse potential

*A Challenge is an opportunity to see Leadership ability in everybody. This is what I saw in everyone who supported our mission:

GULER – the OPERATOR who gave us comfort & dependability – have you ever met a super optimistic person who can sort out the most complex task? You need to meet Guler – she is organised and has the most amazing \’CAN DO\’ attitude. Her leadership is driven by impact on others and she is not afraid of any responsibility.

KATE – the STRATEGIST who watched our backs by making sure systems were in place for communication to flow. Have you ever met a super careful person who can focus on systems with ease and yet flow with energy? You need to meet Kate – her focus on detail and her hunger for learning is both comforting and infectious. Her leadership is driven by impact on others. Most importantly, though, it is her self leadership that is a brilliant example of self empowerment and a source of great inspiration for others.

NANA – the ENERGISER who gave us positive uplifts when we needed it the most. She has a laser sharp focus and is mission driven, which has the power to inspire others. Her leadership on the team helped keep us positively motivated and energised.

VERONICA – the PIONEERING WARRIOR who knows her power and uses it to focus on achieving the end goal, no matter what. Her leadership is not afraid to go alone against all the elements. We all benefited from her observations and positive feedback at the end.

KESRA – the FIGHTER not only refused to give up when the going got tough, she entertained us with her bubbly and sweet personality. Her leadership is an example of sheer endurance and a resilient attitude that wins others over.

OMAR – the RESPONSIBLE TRAILBLAZER that the world needs more of. His leadership was a demonstration of one who not only knows the way, but will take others on the journey with him too. He not only helped 2 women reach the Summit with him, but also spent 2 hours helping an injured person back down the mountain in the dark.

ZEENAT – the ROLE MODEL is a great example of a woman with a strong mindset. She showed us how it is possible to reach your destination even when all the odds are against you. The last 18 months of her life had been a huge struggle with having to accept her baby\’s rare health condition and adjusting her life accordingly. Those relentless weeks and months probably built her resistance to all obstacles she faced on the mountain. She struggled the whole way and completely surprised us by getting to the top.

MARUF – the TEAM PLAYER went out of his way to include others. His own personal mission became difficult to accomplish, as he spent a lot of time travelling up and down the mountain carrying stuff for others. He ended up supporting 2 women by travelling with them as far as they could travel as a team because he didn\’t want anyone to be left behind. His empathetic nature enabled him to mediate between people and diffuse conflict.

RUBY – the NURTURER doesn\’t think about herself when it comes to looking after others. She was concerned about me and stayed by my side looking after me when I struggled with my low blood pressure, feeling light headed and faint. However, because of that, sadly she was left behind whilst everyone else was able to continue climbing. It was only when I felt better that she was able to progress further.

SEHAR ALIYA – the ENCOURAGER was the most inexperienced in our group, being the youngest, at only 20 years old. In the group she was probably the most nervous of climbing the mountain. However, her determination to go further was remarkable. She was able to persuade 2 others in her group to keep going to 75-80% up the mountain, when they were ready to stop at half way point.

IKRA – the CARER was able to play a huge role in enabling others to climb the mountain. She had never been responsible for a toddler for a whole day before, yet she agreed to look after baby Safa whilst the baby\’s parents climbed the mountain. She did an amazing job of keeping the baby occupied throughout the day.

KHAYYAM – the RISK TAKER turned up at the Ben Nevis Visitor\’s Centre just as we were getting ready to climb. His 2 friends Zagham and Husnain had driven overnight with him, from London to join the climb because Khayyam was unable to get leave from work. When I heard about the weather forecast, I got worried about First Aid as only 2 of the Team were First Aid trained and it was very likely that we would split up at some point on our journey up the mountain. Hence seeing the 3 men who were teachers and a police officer was such a huge relief! By the way my headache didn\’t go away until 3 hours after we departed from the hotel on Sunday.

THE UNEXPECTED OUTCOME

I have always been mission driven so it didn\’t come as a surprise to those who know me when I said I want to help build a home for vulnerable women in Bangladesh. What was surprising was the choice of challenge – climbing Ben Nevis – the highest mountain in the UK. I\’m a learner who advocates leadership development and it is crucial that the impact of my life\’s work empowers women. That also includes me! So naturally for me Ben Nevis was the next step up from Snowden, which was a smaller mountain. I like to push myself as I am greedy for growth, always seeking abundant learning in action.😁

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

When you discover how your own personal spiritual journey is connected to impact on others, it compells you. Nothing excites me more than a journey with others. A challenge moves us forward in life and sometimes all the money in the world can not buy that. It\’s a blessing when you truly understand your \’purpose\’.

The ultimate goal of empowering a single mother and her two daughters by building a roof over their heads, could only be achieved through kindness and generosity.

We have exceeded our target with donations from 103 supporters. None of this would have been possible without the hard work of 15 people – \’TEAM BEN NEVIS\’. Stow Inspire CIC (Community Interest Company no.13817028) will build a home for Beauty Begum and her daughters in Nov/Dec 2022.